The Pearl of Friendship…Final installment

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The Ultimate Friendship

When Solomon wrote about “a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24), he may well have had in mind a divine friendship.  Truly, the only One Who can stick with us through thick and thin is the Lord Jesus Himself.  Jesus calls us His friends if we do what he commands (John 15:14).  The starting place for that obedience is to recognize that the only way to God is through Jesus Christ, Who is the way, the truth, and life (John 14:6).  Have you received the Lord Jesus as your Savior?  Are you His child and friend (John 1:12)?

I’ve found a Friend, O such a Friend!

He loved me ere I knew Him;

He drew me with the cords of love,

And thus He bound me to Him…

 

I’ve found a Friend, O such a Friend!

He bled, he died to save me;

And not alone the gift of life,

But His own self He gave me….

 

I’ve found a Friend, O such a Friend!

So kind and true and tender,

So wise a Counselor and Guide,

So mighty a Defender!

From Him who loves me now so well,

What pow’r my soul can sever?

Shall life or death, or earth or hell?

No! I am His forever.

---James G. Small

 

Proverbs in Practice

If you have children, how can you help them establish good relationships and avoid bad ones?

Notes from Class:

Find friends that are following the Lord, reading the bible, putting the word into practice…

Staying away from the appearance of evil…”friends” that would get into mischief or wrong doing are not friends….

Model that right kind of friends to have for your children…live it…

Train about the friendships from the bible…memorize scriptures….

Be in the right places…in home in school….in church…those type of places where people who follow the Lord would be….not out in the “world”

The type of friends you keep will affect your testimony.

 

Based on what you studies about establishing good relationships and being a good friend, write a description of what you understand true friendship to be.

Notes from Class:

Trustworthy, Loyal, Christ-like behavior…Loves you no matter what…will not betray you.

 

Do you know the Lord Jesus as your friend?  What are you doing to nurture that relationship?

Notes from Class:

Place value in Him, His Word, His counsel…..Through prayer talk to him.  Tell him that we love him…Thank Him….

Meditate..listen to what He says…The more you listen the more you recognize the voice.

Do the things that please him.  John 8:29 John 8:29  And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him.

The Pearl of Friendship Continued…Part 4

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A Biblical Example

One of the best examples of true friendship in the bible is David and Jonathan

13. Who was David? (1 Samuel 16:1, 4-13)

1Sa 16:1 And the LORD said unto Samuel, How long wilt thou mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? fill thine horn with oil, and go, I will send thee to Jesse the Bethlehemite: for I have provided me a king among his sons.

And Samuel did that which the LORD spake, and came to Bethlehem. And the elders of the town trembled at his coming, and said, Comest thou peaceably? 1Sa 16:5 And he said, Peaceably: I am come to sacrifice unto the LORD: sanctify yourselves, and come with me to the sacrifice. And he sanctified Jesse and his sons, and called them to the sacrifice. 1Sa 16:6 And it came to pass, when they were come, that he looked on Eliab, and said, Surely the LORD'S anointed is before him. 1Sa 16:7 But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. 1Sa 16:8 Then Jesse called Abinadab, and made him pass before Samuel. And he said, Neither hath the LORD chosen this. 1Sa 16:9 Then Jesse made Shammah to pass by. And he said, Neither hath the LORD chosen this. 1Sa 16:10 Again, Jesse made seven of his sons to pass before Samuel. And Samuel said unto Jesse, The LORD hath not chosen these. 1Sa 16:11 And Samuel said unto Jesse, Are here all thy children? And he said, There remaineth yet the youngest, and, behold, he keepeth the sheep. And Samuel said unto Jesse, Send and fetch him: for we will not sit down till he come hither. 1Sa 16:12 And he sent, and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, and withal of a beautiful countenance, and goodly to look to. And the LORD said, Arise, anoint him: for this is he. 1Sa 16:13 Then Samuel took the horn of oil, and anointed him in the midst of his brethren: and the Spirit of the LORD came upon David from that day forward. So Samuel rose up, and went to Ramah. 1Sa 16:14 But the Spirit of the LORD departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD troubled him. 1Sa 16:15 And Saul's servants said unto him, Behold now, an evil spirit from God troubleth thee. 1Sa 16:16 Let our lord now command thy servants, which are before thee, to seek out a man, who is a cunning player on an harp: and it shall come to pass, when the evil spirit from God is upon thee, that he shall play with his hand, and thou shalt be well.

Notes from our class:

David was the Son of Jesse, an annointed one…the youngest….a Shepherd….later a King…A Bethlemite.  he was annointed of the Lord… As a King we know that he was valiant, a man of war, a writer, he was Godly, a musician…..

Jesse, didn’t think David was King material…either too young or not smart enough possibly….

14. Who was Jonathan (1 Samuel 14:1 and 13:1-3)

1Sa 14:1 Now it came to pass upon a day, that Jonathan the son of Saul said unto the young man that bare his armour, Come, and let us go over to the Philistines' garrison, that is on the other side. But he told not his father.

1Sa 13:1 Saul reigned one year; and when he had reigned two years over Israel, 1Sa 13:2 Saul chose him three thousand men of Israel; whereof two thousand were with Saul in Michmash and in mount Bethel, and a thousand were with Jonathan in Gibeah of Benjamin: and the rest of the people he sent every man to his tent. 1Sa 13:3 And Jonathan smote the garrison of the Philistines that was in Geba, and the Philistines heard of it. And Saul blew the trumpet throughout all the land, saying, Let the Hebrews hear.

Class Notes:

The son of Saul, the King of Israel, a mighty leader in battle.

15. After David killed Goliath (1 Samuel 17), the relationship between David and Jonathan developed.  They were an unlikely pair; a shepherd boy and a King’s son.  Describe their friendship after you read 1 Samuel 18:1-4

1Sa 18:1  And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.
1Sa 18:2  And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father's house.
1Sa 18:3  Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.
1Sa 18:4  And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.

Class notes: They were so close as if knit together, intertwined…They loved each other very much.  They were soul mates and exchanged gifts.  They loved with a pure heart, and fervently.  Jonathan gave David his royal robes and garments…there was no jealously there between the two of them.

Saul became extremely jealous of David and sought to kill him.  First Samuel 19:1-7 records one time Jonathan saved David’s life; chapter 20  records another time.  finally David had to flee. (Another trait of Jonathan….he looked out for his friend)

16. Read 1 Samuel 20:41 and 42 and describe the parting of David and Jonathan.

1Sa 20:41 And as soon as the lad was gone, David arose out of a place toward the south, and fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times: and they kissed one another, and wept one with another, until David exceeded. 1Sa 20:42 And Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, forasmuch as we have sworn both of us in the name of the LORD, saying, The LORD be between me and thee, and between my seed and thy seed for ever. And he arose and departed: and Jonathan went into the city.

Class notes: Their parting was sorrowful, a tearing asunder, separated….they had a bond in the Lord that would not be broken.  They pledged undying friendship to another and their children.

17. Review the characteristics of a good friend in questions 10-13.  Which of these characteristics were true of David and Jonathan?

Class notes:  They loved deeply.  They stood by each other.  They kept each other’s confidence.  They gave good counsel.  Like Jesus, they loved at all times and stood by each other.  Jonathan did not gloss over the mistakes and sins of his father.

Charles Swindoll describes the relationship between David and Jonathan as an “intimate friendship.” Then he gives four characteristics of this kind of friendship.

Intimate friends are rare in life.  Often we have only one, occasionally two…usually not more than three in our entire lives.  There’s something about an intimate friend that causes your souls to e knit together.  It’s what we call a kindred spirit.  Intimate friendship has four characteristics, and we find all of them in this story [David and Jonathan].  First, an intimate friend is willing to sacrifice…Second, an intimate friend is a loyal defense before others…Third, intimate friends give each other complete freedom to be themselves….And finally, an intimate friend is a constant source of encouragement.

The Pearl of Friendship Part 3

Pin It I just wanted to mention one more note that I came across.  This was in relation to that post 2a about friendship…….
From my Baptist Bread last Sunday “but now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a  brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.” 1 Corinthians 5:11  We are instructed not even to eat with people that claim to be saved, but live like they are lost……The truly anointed can be continuously weakened by the people you associate with…Friend, not only does your association affect you, but it alters your family.  No friendship with an evil companion should be allowed to have influence on your family.  No friendship is worth your family!
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Being a Good Friend

Luci Swindoll says, “Be good to your friends!  Give them your time and interest.  Listen to their problems.  Enter into their joys.  Work through your difficulties in every way possible.  Be faithful and involved.”  Many of those same ideas are found in proverbs:

9.  Read Proverbs 11:13, 16:28 and 17:9.

Proverbs 11:13 A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.

16:28 A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.

17:9 He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.

What do these verses teach about being a good friend?

A faithful friend keeps a friends confidence…You won’t say bad things about your friends…A friend conceals/overlooks a sin, seeks love and peace.  He who repeats the sin to another divides friends…

A friend covers an indiscretion with prayer and love and forgetfulness…does not keep bringing it back up again. 

A friend does not spread what they have heard.  A good friend is a peacemaker.  A good friend keeps control of her tongue….a trustworthy friend keeps her mouth shut.

vs. 16:28 refers to froward….to turn this way and that…is changing…your friend may be one way with you and another way with someone else….

Being a good friend is possessing and showing trust and loyalty…  A good friend has the good sense to keep confidence at a good time.

10.  What does a friend do according to Proverbs 17:17? A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

A friend loves at all times. A friend stands by her friend in hard times. 

Friends must be constant to each other at all times. 

Don’t be a talebarer…don’t share everything.

A friend is not to be a thorn but a help….

A brother is born to be with us in the troubles , times of adversity.

11. Proverbs 27:6 talks about the “wounds of a friend” as being faithful.  What do you think this means?

A good friend will tell you the truth even if it hurts…it wounds but helps. 

We love that person it is to help not to hurt…

The strings of the tongue are tied to the heart..what is in the heart comes out of the mouth.

A good friend may offer rebuke or criticism, but she does it for our good.

12.  What characteristic of friendship is described in Proverbs 27:9?

Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel.

The heart rejoices from the wise counsel/advice of a friend.

A good friend gives good advice.

Ointment and perfume…are healing and delightful things…things that bless you and make you feel good.

Being a friend is a characteristic of Jesus.  He was a friend to all and stuck closer than a brother.

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That is all for this evening ladies…more when I have some time.

God Bless~~

The Pearl of Friendship…Part 2a….

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I just happened to be reading my Baptist Bread…and was reading from October 23rd…and I thought the following went right along with the last post about avoiding bad relationships….  The Lord’s timing is so wonderful!!

 

“And I am this day weak, though anointed…” 2Samuel 3:39a

The author goes on to say: “I would like to initially say that sometimes we are weakened by our continued association with some people. ..with brethren who have compromised the truth, buddies who have wavered from the old paths.

A man needs to stand where he started!  Be careful with your personal relationships and make sure that your acquaintances draw you to God, not away from Him.

I have had a few friends over the years that their gripping, complaining, critical attitudes were not conducive to strengthening my walk with the Lord.  Some even used language unbecoming to a believer or participated in activities that I knew were not appropriate for a child of God.  Honestly, there are just some folk you ought not to run with.  Paul said, “Be not deceived; evil communications corrupt good manners” (1 Cor. 15:33)

This influence of the wicked in the life of the righteous travels down many roads. 

• Teenage girls should never look for a man to marry who sits in the back row of he church all the time.
• Neither should a young man seek a girl who is disrespectful of her parents (especially her father).
• Men should never have relationships with women they are not married to, as these are always inappropriate long before they become intimate!
• Ladies need to bury the town gossip beneath a pile of “ignoring her completely!”

Continued association with these folks will render one a spiritual weakling.

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Isn’t this so true about friends…It is so reassuring to read something like this and not feel that you are completely off your rocker because you are particular about who you allow to be close friends….many are acquaintances…few are close….. it is just the way it has to be….there are many acquaintances that I have that are Christians…..but there are not many that truly pursue Christ with all their hear, all their soul, all their mind….and are truly willing to be separate from the world….

There are many that are willing to make compromises to appeal to fleshly desires of the heart…. 

And those people are great…one hopes that perhaps they will be won over by the steadfastness of other’s for their pursuit of the Lord and not look upon those other’s (me ) like we have gone over the deep end and are just out of touch with reality and just too conservative….

I feel like I need a banner sometimes….lol…If you are seeking for Godly counsel, make sure that is what you want, because that is what I will give and although I will do it in love, it may still hurt….I am not willing to give into the ways of the world…and what the world’s thought processes are.

The Pearl of Friendship continued Part 2

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Avoiding bad relationships

3a. Read Proverbs 22:24 and 25.

“Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
Pro 22:25  Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.”

What kind of relationship should be avoided?

A relationship with an angry person/ do not go with a furious person…people who are hostile about everything…..people who are contentious…

3b.  Why?  So that you do not become like them and get snared* to do evil things. 

*The idea of a snare is to get trapped in something from which you cannot escape…..Snares are not out in the open, they are concealed as soon as you see it…get out.

4. Read Proverbs 20:19.

“He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.”

a.) What kind of person should be avoided according to this verse?

A talebarer, a gossiper, someone who talks too much…. Keep in mind that a flatter is much different than someone giving a compliment…a flatter’s intentions in their heart usually want something.

b.) Why do you think Solomon gave this warning?

They may be insincere or just plain false.  We know from the bible that a fool is known by his words…If your heart is saved, there should be good flowing out of your mouth not deceitfulness.

5.  Proverbs 23:20 and 21 and 28:7 refer to another relationship to avoid.

“Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh:” “For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.

Pro. 28:7 Whoso keepeth the law is a wise son: but he that is a companion of riotous men shameth his father.

a.) What is it? Winebibbers/Drunkards as well as gluttons.

b.) What is gluttony? Excess in eating…all the time…extravagant appetite for food.  Luxuory of the table…voracity of appetite….also found in Strong’s…excessive an moral character where you are out of control.

*righteous men…driven by their passions which are out of control.

c.) What character trait that we have already studied in Proverbs is the opposite of gluttony?  Self Control!

 

6. According to Proverbs 24:1 and 2, what is yet another relationship to avoid?

“Be not thou envious against evil men, neither desire to be with them. For their heart studieth destruction, and their lips talk of mischief. “

Do not desire to be with evil men….those type of people that plan troublemaking or devise violence…. do not desire to be with these type of people….

How can you help your teenagers see the wisdom of this verse?  For starters…memorize the verse…get the word of God in your mind in your heart.  Model this behavior in your home…don’t watch T.V. programs that promote this type of behavior.

 

7.  Read Proverbs 19:4 and 6 and 14:20. 

Proverbs 19:4-Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his neighbour.

Proverbs 19:6-Many will intreat the favour of the prince: and every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts.

What do you think these verses teach about friendships?  There are many who want to be your friend when you are paying the tab---but once the money is not for their benefit they tend to disappear.  those with money will always have those seeking after them for monetary favors…  Seek friends for their Godly qualities not for material possessions.

 

8.  The prodigal son in the story Jesus told is a good example of this kind of relationship.  Read Luke 15:11-15 with the thought in mind that the prodigal’s  “riotous living” included companions. 

Luk 15:11  And he said, A certain man had two sons:
Luk 15:12  And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.
Luk 15:13  And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.
Luk 15:14  And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.
Luk 15:15  And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

What happened when the money ran out?

No one was around when all the money was gone and he found himself working feeding pigs.

This type of person was living according to worldly passions…”Living it up”…  This type of person had rebellion in their heart…was dissatisfied with what was in his Father’s house….This type of riotous living is usually done with friends not by ones-self…and when these type of friends get together there are no restraints no controls…

True friends don’t change and turn with the weather…Christ is a friend that loves at all times.

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I’ll leave you with this for today as there is much to get done here around my house…enjoy

The Pearl of Friendship….A study from Proverbs on Friendship

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Hello all, I commented on a blog today that I had just finished up a study in the book of Proverbs from the bible on Friendship.  The author of the blog wrote back and asked to hear more about it. 

So, I thought I would do a few posts to share what I learned from the past several weeks going through Proverbs and various other sections of the bible on what Friendship is.

 

So to start off is the verse for this topic: Proverbs 17:17 a friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Establishing Good Relationships

1. Read Proverbs 13:20.  What does this verse suggest about establishing relationships?

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

Comments from our class=choose wisely, walk with people that are wise and make good decisions.  Those that are friends with poor morals and decision making will be destroyed.  Never make a friend, someone who does not love the Lord.

We become like the people with whom we associate.  Choose friends who will lift you up to a higher level, who will challenge and stretch you.  Conversely, making unwise choices will eventually cause harm.

2a.  What imagery is suggested in Proverbs 27:17?

“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”

Iron sharpens iron; the idea of honing a knife.  If you can visualize a small knife being drawn across a stone to sharpen the edge, help smooth out the imperfections and restore it to a true sharpness, take the dullness away.

2b.  How does this apply to friendship?

Friends keep each other from foolish activities and speech….This also goes to our husbands as well as our best friends…being an encouragement and steering us….A friend should bring out the best qualities in the other person …”People can help each other improve by their discussions, criticisms, suggestions and ideas…”

If you have no friends you need to make the effort to make friends..give of ourselves…..

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I will close with this for tonight as the next section has eight parts and that is just way too much to get into this evening before bed!

Good night and be blessed!